Hello. I’m back
Those 2b leads were a long time coming. I’ll have to find a shop a bit closer to home.
In times of domestic upheaval and malcontent, I’ve always found it best to get your revenge in first. Although this is a hollow and short-lived victory, inevitably followed by total annihilation, it can offer a shred of comfort to a no-win situation.
So without further ado, here’s one called:
My wife’s a lazy bastard
She never does a tap
And now I think she’s mastered
The twenty four hour nap
I’m looking at her now
Snoozing in a chair
A half eaten doughnut on her lap
And greasy matted hair
She’s a mistress of inaction
The children think she’s dead
But I’m sure I saw a reaction
When a fruit gum hit her head
The ironing’s piled up six feet high
The sink is full of pots
The kids are chasing round after a fly
And they’re caked in grime and snot
The carpet needs a hoover
The cupboards are bare of essentials
But she’s just out to prove her
It’s a classic case of brinkmanship
It’s her or else it’s me
The house is like a fucking tip
And I’d love a cup of tea
The bedrooms could do with fettle
But who’ll be blinking first
What? Me fill up the kettle?
I’d rather die of thirst
Well there you go.
Please don’t think me bitter or sexist. I know I’m just as bad and like I said, hollow and short-lived followed by crushing defeat (more of which next time).